Happy Valentines/Love Day! 🥰
Social media gives us snapshots of people’s lives, showing their highs and well… highs. I think we always need to remember that when we’re scrolling through our feeds. It’s so easy to forget when you’re so hypnotised by pretty angled shots, hashtags that perfectly fit the photo and the story of someone’s seemingly fantastic day.
I’ve been a victim to thinking that everything is rosy 24/7 when it really isn’t. Thinking positively and seeing things with rose-tinted glasses is something I pride myself in, but sometimes saying to myself to “think positively” isn’t the best approach long term.
This is why I turn to other activities such as exercise and writing to help me cope with life. Today, I’m writing and it’s about love and the internet.
Relationships and social media
Relationships on social media is a weird one. I’d say even weirder than the perfect angled shots. Especially on a day like today, it’s so easy to get caught up in the cute things couples get up to and no doubt the countless of engagement rings you’ll see. I know I have been so fixated on this bubble myself so many times, and have been part of it if I’m honest.
No one ever wants to share the low points in their relationships. But I’d argue that social media makes it look like we don’t have these shitty times at all. We can look so narrowly rather than seeing the bigger picture, all based on perfectly crafted squares on our feed.
Anxiety in the 3 years
Matt and I have been together for three years, we celebrated our third year together this week. To be honest, I never thought that I’d ever get to celebrate another year with someone for so long. My longest relationship was just shy of three years.
One night before our anniversary, I opened up to Matt about my anxiety around the “three year mark”. Essentially, I realised that I have some sort of phobia coming up to the day, because heck, I never got here before and when I was close – it was over (I still can’t forget that sucky feeling.)
Talking to Matt about it was scary at first, because I had some weird expectation based probably on the feeds of couples that I shouldn’t even be upset because everything is perfect. It’s insane how I’ve become so warped by these feeds and I know I’m not the only one.
Truth is, Matt and I have had moments where it sucks. Really bad. Sometimes it feels like it’s the last straw — the arguments don’t stop, the bad feelings don’t go away and then we have to face a large group of people whether that be at events or families the next day.
I think we both become who they want us to be based on what we’ve shared — “ooo, that romantic trip to New York – Matt must be so romantic constantly!” It becomes inauthentic and an uncomfortable experience sometimes trying to live up to an image or a way people think of you. (This is why I have mixed feelings on the term “personal brand”, but hey, that’s another post for another time.)
Arguments are normal and a healthy part of relationships
Your favourites couples have arguments all the time, but sometimes when you’re having an argument with your partner, it can feeling everything is falling apart.
As if not living in the perfect utopia social media has trained us to think that we must have…is a life or death— it’s one or the other, perfect or not, choose one!
It’s a nice wake-up call and reminder that most of the internet is fake news. And that the life or relationship you want isn’t in here but out there.
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